Thursday, 30 December 2010

Survived another Christmas!

Hey readers

Hope you are all doing well. As the title of this entry shows, I have survived another Christmas - almost all the children in my extended family had the flu and so I was really tempted to avoid them all. But that was a hard decision to make - my kids would have enjoyed the festivities a lot less if they hadn't been allowed to see their cousins. SO I did the brave thing and let them all run around together - and touch wood, so far we are ok.

The kids were really good about not having anything really special for Christmas. Usually I push the boat out, but this year it hasn't been possible, and I was dreading their disappointment. But they have enjoyed themselves and not complained at all - result! They are still priveleged compared to so many, and it is nice to feel that they appreciate that fact.

I am disappointed with myself for not playing with them more - one thing that I had resolved to do during these holidays. I actually did, for a day or two. But then life took over - I had a cold, then Hubby had a cold, both of us were washed out after. Now things have deteriorated to the point where Toddler is watching hours of Shaun the Sheep every single day. SO I told the kids at dinner tonight that tomorrow the TV is going to be 'broken' and we are going to spend some proper time together. Let's see how long I last!

We have visitors tomorrow, I am doing a buffet lunch for an extra three adults and one child, so that should be a distraction. Then on New Years Day, the family will be coming over - anywhere between ten and fifteen of them. I am only doing tea and mince pies, but it will still be a houseful.

Sometimes I think it is amazing how far I have come, sometimes I give myself a hard time for not achieving more. Like part of me wants to get a qualification so I could become a teacher or a counsellor (I already have a first degree) but part of me kind of knows, or has convinced herself, that I couldn't hold down a job. Because unfortunately I am still racked by nerves at times - particularly social occasions, when I would really like to be more relaxed. But hey, that is improving too, slowly! Onwards and upwards!

Happy New Year, one and all. May you all demolish your demons and achieve your dreams!

More in 2011... x x

Monday, 6 December 2010

Still here, still happy


I just remembered this blog - apologies, I know the last time I posted I said I'd keep it updated more often. Guess I just got out of the habit.

Oh good, something concrete that I can make a New Year's Resolution about. I love those. I usually end up with a list of about twenty. At the end of the year I review them and see that the previous year I had just the same intentions - Write every day, eat sensibly, exercise, and so on. I don't care. I still enjoy the process. The ongoing process.

I can't believe I have wasted a whole morning. Could have done a lot of writing, if I'd concentrated. Instead, I maybe did 500 words - but also made a lot of phone calls and googled a lot of stuff. I don't really have any idea where the time has gone. The worst thing is, I didn't walk the puppy. So I will have to do that later. Maybe after school with the kids. Don't tend to do that, especially because it's so cold, but it wouldn't do them any harm, a nice brisk walk...

Am trying to be a bit easier on myself - as long as I write a bit I try not to feel bad about not doing more. After all, as time goes on I will have more free time to write. This morning I was bad though - I haven't even done the food shopping, which really is essential. And I thought I might get some Christmas preparations done too - like wrap the gifts I have bought already in case the kids find them meantime (if they haven't already).

So I will make a New Day's resolution - tomorrow I will walk the dog first, so I can't put it off. Or maybe a New Evening's Resolution - I will write tonight.

After a muddled morning my thinking seems a bit blighted -this entry is unoriginal leading into dull. At least it can't be attributed to me. 'Cause I am Anon!

By the by, my memoir is up to 35, 000 words - which may not sound like much progress but denotes a lot of woman hours, because I am just as likely to obliterate whole sections as I am to write new ones. At the moment I am in flux - I think I am telling more than showing again, and I need to find a way round that.

But still - how long is a book? About 80,000 words. So I must be half way there...

That is a joke by the way. Though I am tempted sometimes to just write the words and finish the book, mid-story or wherever. I had the dreadful thought this morning that I have enough material for a trilogy. Perish the thought. That would really be a life sentence. I want to compose uplifting stuff now, not trail through the same old anguish ever after. Onwards and upwards. X.