So, it's less than a week before Christmas and I'm not really prepared. I did go shopping yesterday and buy a few gifts and I have got two turkeys in the freezer...so I'm not completely unprepared either. And I'm not worried - I have a few days to go and just need to buy some food and some stocking fillers for the children.
The contrast for me personally between Christmas now, and how it used to be, is huge. I used to find it a very lonely time - now I'm surrounded by people I love. I know how lucky I am.
I also know that there are many people out there who are not as fortunate and I am going to make a concerted effort to do more to help others in the year ahead. That's one of my New Year Resolutions. The other is to listen to more music.
That's all from me for now. Happy Holidays everyone! XX
Friday 20 December 2019
Thursday 31 October 2019
Review of The Heartlands by Nathan Filer
I could have been more generous with my rating - this book was very well written and I think the author has the best of intentions. Hopefully it will go some way towards de-stigmatising 'schizophrenia'. However, as somebody who was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 19 (I am now 51) I have serious reservations about the ideas expressed within it. Also, this review is taking me ages to write and I am trying to be fair, so please bear with me!
I feel as though the author uses 'so-called schizophrenia' (as he puts it) to make various points about what is wrong with the mental health system in this country and the USA, but that he never goes as far as admitting that it's a label which damages people. He could have used the platform afforded him by the publication of this book to canvas for its abolition.
Basically, the author states that ‘schizophrenia’ is a dubious diagnosis - there's no scientific test for it, or for any of the 'mental illnesses' in all the editions of the DSM (the psychiatrists' manual). He quotes those who truly understand the subject and are enlightened about the issues - Lucy Johnstone, Joanna Moncrieff, even J.D. Laing. He says there's a theory that we'd be better off as a society without any diagnoses. He points out that there is no evidence for genetic theories of 'mental illness' (i.e that these problems are hereditary) - he says that genetic studies are flawed but then he describes in detail one such study (which is, it turns out, flawed – so why go into it?)
In fact, although the author is meticulous about putting the various diagnoses within parentheses, or adding the prefix ‘so-called’ to illustrate that all diagnoses are simply concepts, I am not convinced that he actually believes this himself. It must be hard to disregard many years of training as a psychiatric nurse, and many more years of working in the field.
I enjoyed reading the case studies - but again, they were not a fair representation of the people diagnosed with ‘schizophrenia’. For example, there is no study of someone who has had psychosis and has completely recovered and now lives without medication. I know I am not the only example of this by a long chalk (it’s just that most people living ‘normal’ lives have the sense to keep quiet about past breakdowns!) In the past I have communicated with the author via his website (after reading his novel, The Shock of the Fall) and directed him to my own book (Surviving Schizophrenia, a Memoir) so he is definitely aware of my existence and could have used my case to illustrate that medication is not always the answer.
In my opinion, medications are only of use if the patient wants them (i.e. is not physically forced to take them) and is informed of all the potential side effects. The author of this book seems to think that they are crucial to control people and to keep them stable – although he does admit that there’s no long-term study to show whether people, in fact, relapse more often when they are on these drugs. He refers quite often to Professor Robin Murray, who comes across as a very understanding man who never diagnoses people with schizophrenia – I have to say, this is simply not true. I have met Professor Murray and heard him say – at a Rethink Mental Illness conference, to a room full of people diagnosed with it and suffering the consequences – that the term needs to go but that ‘we’ (the psychiatrists) ‘are not ready yet’.
The study of a mother of a young man diagnosed with 'schizophrenia' who killed himself, is sad in the extreme. The author admits that he found it impossible to discuss with the mother the matter of whether her son's childhood was a factor. He then seems to conclude that her theory that her son's dependence on alcohol was due to something being wrong with his brain and that this was somehow inter-connected with his mental illness, is probably as good a way as any to look at it. But as a reader of that story (and someone with personal experience of stigma from within and outside a family) I see things very differently. This child was taken away from his father in England, to live in the USA, and was brought up with a stepfather and his two younger half-siblings. He was (we can assume) the odd one out in a family, missing his father and feeling bad about him being abandoned...and yes, he smoked cannabis, took other drugs, drank alcohol to excess.
There's no one cause for 'mental illness' as the author concedes, but I don't think a difficult childhood can be discounted. I am not one to point the finger – I have four children and they might well suffer from emotional distress themselves at some stage in their lives, and if they do it will probably be partly due to having been brought up by a mother who has struggled with various problems over the years… But also, emotional distress is normal. It is part of life. We can’t sail through the world and be unaffected by the various problems we encounter. If we did, we wouldn’t be human. Which is why I prefer the term emotional distress to ‘mental illness’.
Another case study is that of a psychiatric nurse who himself hears voices and works in a prison with the ‘mentally ill’. I consider that to be equally misleading. The author mentions that being ‘mentally ill’ does not make you violent, and yet he goes on to write at length about prisoners who are ‘mentally ill’. I have a lot more to say on this particular subject, but this is not the place…
In fact, I could say a lot more about all of this. I think instead that I need to re-visit my second memoir, Surfacing, which was about my own recovery from ‘mental illness’. (Not to say that I am ‘recovered’ - I am still busy being human…) I was never satisfied with that book and I now have a lot to add on the subject, in the light of all I have learned in recent years, and hope that any insight I have gained might be of use.
Incidentally, I wrote both those books in my maiden name, Louise Gillett, and have only recently found the courage to put my married name, Louise van Wingerden, to them. My main reservation was that my children might be adversely affected by stigma – but I have realised that hiding my identity is not the way to educate them about this.
In any case, The Heartland is worth a read. The author does make some good points, including the one that fear is at the root of all 'mental illness'. He also recognises that poverty is very often a factor. I think he does have an understanding of the issues. Where he falls down is in his attempts to fit things into boxes – diagnoses, genetic theories, medication…these theories don’t hold weight, because emotional distress simply cannot be understood in those terms. He could work as a ‘researcher’ for years and not get anywhere – indeed, he might well do more good if he was back working on the wards, simply listening to people who need to be heard.
Incidentally, I know that I am biased to some extent, due to my own experiences of the mental health system. I know other people have difference experiences to my own, and will hopefully have a smoother ride through their troubles even within the current system.
So, to finish where I started – I am sorry that I could not give this book a five star rating. I do have my reasons.
Review by Louise van Wingerden author of Surviving Schizophrenia: a Memoir (written in my maiden name, Louise Gillett)
Saturday 26 October 2019
Unwell
I've been really poorly for the last week or so. This is a bit of a joke in our household because I am not one to suffer in silence. I want sympathy.
Whenever I'm not up to par, announcing that I'm unwell results in derision and laughter from my offspring - they know I'm poorly, I've told them already, why do I have to keep banging on about it?
Which in turn makes me laugh - because I know the mickey-taking is coming from a place of love. Even if I also know that they want me to get better, not only because they love me, but also because they want normal service to resume.
By which I mean, cooking, cleaning, shopping, chauffeur and laundry service, all of which has still been provided, but at a lower, slower standard than usual and accompanied by a constant refrain of, 'I'm so poorly'.
It's nice to be needed, I'm not complaining. I have a chest infection, in case anyone is interested.
Ah well. I've just deleted my 'Louise Gillett' Facebook account and changed my name on Twitter to 'Louise van Wingerden' (although my handle is still @Louise_Gillett, because I can't change that). I'm sure it has made absolutely no impact on the outside world, but it feels momentous to me, to have announced my 'real' name after hiding behind my maiden name for so long.
I wrote the memoir in my maiden name for a very good reason - to protect my children from any stigma they might be subjected to, because of having a mother who was diagnosed with schizophrenia. But they're older now, I haven't believed in that diagnosis for many years, and I have to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak.
I can't change the name on the memoir, because Amazon doesn't let authors change their names on their published books. But actually, it makes sense to me to leave it in my maiden name. The book is about what led to the diagnosis, which was my childhood experiences... I'm not blaming anyone, it's all been put into perspective and context now, but suffice it to say that back then I was the kind of person who couldn't have laughed when someone took the mickey. I didn't feel loved and secure enough.
I've changed in so many ways...although I still have a lot more work to do, as I travel along the road towards enlightenment, whatever that is.
And by the way, did I tell you that I'm poorly?
Whenever I'm not up to par, announcing that I'm unwell results in derision and laughter from my offspring - they know I'm poorly, I've told them already, why do I have to keep banging on about it?
Which in turn makes me laugh - because I know the mickey-taking is coming from a place of love. Even if I also know that they want me to get better, not only because they love me, but also because they want normal service to resume.
By which I mean, cooking, cleaning, shopping, chauffeur and laundry service, all of which has still been provided, but at a lower, slower standard than usual and accompanied by a constant refrain of, 'I'm so poorly'.
It's nice to be needed, I'm not complaining. I have a chest infection, in case anyone is interested.
Ah well. I've just deleted my 'Louise Gillett' Facebook account and changed my name on Twitter to 'Louise van Wingerden' (although my handle is still @Louise_Gillett, because I can't change that). I'm sure it has made absolutely no impact on the outside world, but it feels momentous to me, to have announced my 'real' name after hiding behind my maiden name for so long.
I wrote the memoir in my maiden name for a very good reason - to protect my children from any stigma they might be subjected to, because of having a mother who was diagnosed with schizophrenia. But they're older now, I haven't believed in that diagnosis for many years, and I have to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak.
I can't change the name on the memoir, because Amazon doesn't let authors change their names on their published books. But actually, it makes sense to me to leave it in my maiden name. The book is about what led to the diagnosis, which was my childhood experiences... I'm not blaming anyone, it's all been put into perspective and context now, but suffice it to say that back then I was the kind of person who couldn't have laughed when someone took the mickey. I didn't feel loved and secure enough.
I've changed in so many ways...although I still have a lot more work to do, as I travel along the road towards enlightenment, whatever that is.
And by the way, did I tell you that I'm poorly?
Wednesday 23 October 2019
FREE BOOK TODAY!
Hi. Here's the link to my novel, Into Thin Air. It's free on Kindle for the next few days - please pass the word. If you do read it, please review it on Amazon - I'd be really grateful. Enjoy!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Into-Thin-Robyn-Walters-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B07N98NDSP
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Into-Thin-Robyn-Walters-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B07N98NDSP
Tuesday 22 October 2019
Into Thin Air by Louise van Wingerden
So - my novel has been edited - the process took ten days and it's now a little shorter, but still 300 pages long and definitely much improved. And here it is - married name and all! -
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07N98NDSP
That's the link - you can also find it by looking up the details on the title of this blog post. I hope you enjoy - please feedback in the form of reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. Thank you!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07N98NDSP
That's the link - you can also find it by looking up the details on the title of this blog post. I hope you enjoy - please feedback in the form of reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. Thank you!
Thursday 17 October 2019
And summer is over...
It's been raining for weeks now, or at least it feels that way. I don't mind much, although the dogs do. They hate going outside when it's raining, although they soon forget once they're out there - they enjoy their walks so much! Today I was lucky - I managed to walk them during a brief dry and sunny spell. Nice.
I have had a bit of a blow to my confidence recently. I have been working for the last few months, and I loved everything about it. I loved saying I was going to work - it made me feel so important. I loved contributing to the family finances. I loved the work itself - it was writing and editing, just the ticket for me.
Unfortunately, the whole thing fell apart a few days ago. I won't go into the why's, except that I was proud of the way I conducted myself. And there was nothing I could do. It's disappointing, and it made me feel sad, but I'll just have to chalk it up to experience.
I have enjoyed being back at home this week. I was only working three days a week, but it's surprising how much time it took, with the travelling to and fro. Jobs at home - like the endless piles of washing - were getting neglected. I had to pay someone to walk the dogs on the days I worked, which I was conflicted about - I like walking my dogs but I just didn't have time on those days. I was lucky there, my dog walkers have known the dogs since our family have had them and they love them as much as we do, but it still felt odd.
So it's been nice to be able to take care of everything and everyone properly again - the standard of family dinners had dropped, all sorts of things changed quite unexpectedly. I would rather still have my job if there was a choice, but there isn't. At least I have my home and family to keep me busy.
I have been careful to work every day though (except yesterday. Yesterday I had a few chores to do in the morning and then Paul was off work in the afternoon and I got distracted.)
I'm re-writing my novel (there were quite a few typos I hadn't dealt with and I decided to take the opportunity to give it a total rehaul). This will take a few weeks, then I'm going to tackle the next one. I'm going to treat writing as a job from now on and put my all into it. Stop casting around for other things to do with my time and just get on with what I'm good at.
I'm going to take the loss of my job as a sign that I'm meant to write.
Oh, and another thing. I'm going to put all my writing under one umbrella. I currently have my memoir (two memoirs, but the second one is not very good compared to the first) for sale under my maiden name, then a couple of short novellas under a pen name, a couple of short children's books under a different pen name - and finally, a novel under my married name. I'm going to make a website that lists all my work - because although I had good reasons for writing anonymously, they don't really apply anymore.
I'm going to be Out and Proud!
I'll link to my novel on here very soon - I just want to finish editing it first, so anyone who's interested gets the new, improved version.
Bye for now.
I have had a bit of a blow to my confidence recently. I have been working for the last few months, and I loved everything about it. I loved saying I was going to work - it made me feel so important. I loved contributing to the family finances. I loved the work itself - it was writing and editing, just the ticket for me.
Unfortunately, the whole thing fell apart a few days ago. I won't go into the why's, except that I was proud of the way I conducted myself. And there was nothing I could do. It's disappointing, and it made me feel sad, but I'll just have to chalk it up to experience.
I have enjoyed being back at home this week. I was only working three days a week, but it's surprising how much time it took, with the travelling to and fro. Jobs at home - like the endless piles of washing - were getting neglected. I had to pay someone to walk the dogs on the days I worked, which I was conflicted about - I like walking my dogs but I just didn't have time on those days. I was lucky there, my dog walkers have known the dogs since our family have had them and they love them as much as we do, but it still felt odd.
So it's been nice to be able to take care of everything and everyone properly again - the standard of family dinners had dropped, all sorts of things changed quite unexpectedly. I would rather still have my job if there was a choice, but there isn't. At least I have my home and family to keep me busy.
I have been careful to work every day though (except yesterday. Yesterday I had a few chores to do in the morning and then Paul was off work in the afternoon and I got distracted.)
I'm re-writing my novel (there were quite a few typos I hadn't dealt with and I decided to take the opportunity to give it a total rehaul). This will take a few weeks, then I'm going to tackle the next one. I'm going to treat writing as a job from now on and put my all into it. Stop casting around for other things to do with my time and just get on with what I'm good at.
I'm going to take the loss of my job as a sign that I'm meant to write.
Oh, and another thing. I'm going to put all my writing under one umbrella. I currently have my memoir (two memoirs, but the second one is not very good compared to the first) for sale under my maiden name, then a couple of short novellas under a pen name, a couple of short children's books under a different pen name - and finally, a novel under my married name. I'm going to make a website that lists all my work - because although I had good reasons for writing anonymously, they don't really apply anymore.
I'm going to be Out and Proud!
I'll link to my novel on here very soon - I just want to finish editing it first, so anyone who's interested gets the new, improved version.
Bye for now.
Thursday 25 April 2019
Summer is on the way!
I couldn't think what to call this blog post so I decided on something cheery. It's probably because I'm getting old, but the weather makes a real difference to my mood these days. I am so much happier since the days started getting longer and the air warmer...
Looking back at my last blog post, which I wrote longer ago than I thought, I have made a little progress. I did publish my novel, in mid-February. But I did so under my married name, which I now feel was a mistake. If I'd published as Louise Gillett I'd have been able to harness my readership from 'Surviving' - or, rather, offer those who were interested the chance to read it. Now I'm back to the old problem - wanting to protect the children from any repercussions because of the diagnosis (the boys don't even really know about it - I told the older one years ago but I think he's forgotten!)
The stupid diagnosis - it's wrong but how can I ever prove that? The more I try to insist I'm not crazy the more crazy I will seem! I need to put the thing behind me now...and it's difficult to do that, but in a way I suppose it has worked for me. It has held me back - meant that I couldn't get any decent work - but that has meant that I have been free to bring up my family and that I am now free to write. Anyway, it was wrong. Time has proved that for me and all I need to do now is to forget about it. Whatever is/was wrong with me. whatever thing or things caused me to break down on several occasions when I was younger (I self-diagnose these causes as anxiety and low self-esteem) it's not a disease of the brain. Thank God.
I suppose I don't need to protect the children from other people's misconceptions. I just need to inform them that I haven't got the condition (and maybe not complicate things by explaining that I don't think anyone really has it, that the psychiatrists don't really know what's wrong when people get seriously mentally ill and have no idea what the outcome will be. I fear that my attempts at explanation make me sound unstable!) I don't want my kids thinking that they might inherit some terrible condition - the truth is that if they do ever suffer from mental illness it will probably be my fault, but only because of my shortcomings as a parent (which stem from the shortcomings in my childhood).
The truth there, if I say it myself, is that most of the time I am an excellent parent, because I put the kids before myself (this happens because of my crummy self-esteem. It's very good for them, not so great for me). And the family is doing well. Paul's career is flourishing and all our four kids have got into grammar school, not because they've been pushed but because they are all willing to learn and they understand the importance of education. Two of them have gone on to win scholarships to private school. They have loads of friends and are happy children. The outlook is very promising for all of them.
It still really bugs me that young people are still diagnosed with 'schizophrenia' and I'm considering getting back into mental health activism, to try to combat this. I don't know if I'll do any more good than I did last time I tried, quite a few years ago, but I think it's probably my duty to give it a go. I've been lucky to have found a way through it all - maybe I have a touch of survivor's guilt, knowing that so many people don't get past the diagnosis. The problem there is that it'll be difficult to distance myself from the diagnosis when I'm working, or volunteering, in the field. But I feel that I should.
So, I've contacted Rethink, the charity, and I'm teetering on the edge of the process of setting up a local group again. I haven't quite taken the leap. I might also pick up my Huff Post articles. I contacted the Huffington Post a while ago and asked if it would be okay to start blogging on there again after my long gap. They were really nice about it, said of course I could...and I didn't get around to it.
Meanwhile I'm writing. I am well into my second novel now - I'm writing a series of mystery thrillers. I intend to treat the writing as a job now - I've decided it's still work, even if I don't get paid (although hopefully I will earn some money as the series gains momentum). It's going well at the moment - I head out of the house to write, as experience has shown that's the way to get the work done. A couple of hours is plenty, because I don't like to leave the dogs for too long (although I feed them and walk them before I go). But a couple of hours a day is probably enough for most writers - it's hard to maintain the necessary concentration for much longer.
So, that's all for now.
Looking back at my last blog post, which I wrote longer ago than I thought, I have made a little progress. I did publish my novel, in mid-February. But I did so under my married name, which I now feel was a mistake. If I'd published as Louise Gillett I'd have been able to harness my readership from 'Surviving' - or, rather, offer those who were interested the chance to read it. Now I'm back to the old problem - wanting to protect the children from any repercussions because of the diagnosis (the boys don't even really know about it - I told the older one years ago but I think he's forgotten!)
The stupid diagnosis - it's wrong but how can I ever prove that? The more I try to insist I'm not crazy the more crazy I will seem! I need to put the thing behind me now...and it's difficult to do that, but in a way I suppose it has worked for me. It has held me back - meant that I couldn't get any decent work - but that has meant that I have been free to bring up my family and that I am now free to write. Anyway, it was wrong. Time has proved that for me and all I need to do now is to forget about it. Whatever is/was wrong with me. whatever thing or things caused me to break down on several occasions when I was younger (I self-diagnose these causes as anxiety and low self-esteem) it's not a disease of the brain. Thank God.
I suppose I don't need to protect the children from other people's misconceptions. I just need to inform them that I haven't got the condition (and maybe not complicate things by explaining that I don't think anyone really has it, that the psychiatrists don't really know what's wrong when people get seriously mentally ill and have no idea what the outcome will be. I fear that my attempts at explanation make me sound unstable!) I don't want my kids thinking that they might inherit some terrible condition - the truth is that if they do ever suffer from mental illness it will probably be my fault, but only because of my shortcomings as a parent (which stem from the shortcomings in my childhood).
The truth there, if I say it myself, is that most of the time I am an excellent parent, because I put the kids before myself (this happens because of my crummy self-esteem. It's very good for them, not so great for me). And the family is doing well. Paul's career is flourishing and all our four kids have got into grammar school, not because they've been pushed but because they are all willing to learn and they understand the importance of education. Two of them have gone on to win scholarships to private school. They have loads of friends and are happy children. The outlook is very promising for all of them.
It still really bugs me that young people are still diagnosed with 'schizophrenia' and I'm considering getting back into mental health activism, to try to combat this. I don't know if I'll do any more good than I did last time I tried, quite a few years ago, but I think it's probably my duty to give it a go. I've been lucky to have found a way through it all - maybe I have a touch of survivor's guilt, knowing that so many people don't get past the diagnosis. The problem there is that it'll be difficult to distance myself from the diagnosis when I'm working, or volunteering, in the field. But I feel that I should.
So, I've contacted Rethink, the charity, and I'm teetering on the edge of the process of setting up a local group again. I haven't quite taken the leap. I might also pick up my Huff Post articles. I contacted the Huffington Post a while ago and asked if it would be okay to start blogging on there again after my long gap. They were really nice about it, said of course I could...and I didn't get around to it.
Meanwhile I'm writing. I am well into my second novel now - I'm writing a series of mystery thrillers. I intend to treat the writing as a job now - I've decided it's still work, even if I don't get paid (although hopefully I will earn some money as the series gains momentum). It's going well at the moment - I head out of the house to write, as experience has shown that's the way to get the work done. A couple of hours is plenty, because I don't like to leave the dogs for too long (although I feed them and walk them before I go). But a couple of hours a day is probably enough for most writers - it's hard to maintain the necessary concentration for much longer.
So, that's all for now.
Tuesday 22 January 2019
Novel to be published (very soon)
Hi everyone. I see that I wrote on here several months ago that I had finished my novel. Well...er...I've just finished it again. I don't really know what has happened in the interim, but it's basically the same old story. I have bursts of writing activity, get totally immersed, then find that I need to turn my attention elsewhere - to the family, invariably - and the writing goes on the back-burner.
I spend a fair amount of time these days looking after my mum, and when I'm not actually with her I'm thinking about her. She's pretty poorly. Then there are the dogs, who have been a handful recently. We have a new puppy (it's a long story and I'm not in the mood right now, but that brings the total number of canines in our family to three). And then of course, the children, who are growing up beautifully (Paul and I are very lucky indeed) but they do still need care and attention and when I am focused on my writing family life invariably gets out of balance. And there's the house - we moved last year and have had a lot of building work done and it's ongoing. I don't do any hands-on work - Paul doesn't trust me and I don't blame him. I try to do things too fast and mess them up. But I have done a lot of organising and it takes more time and creates more trouble than you would imagine. I have to get three quotes for every single thing we have done and getting people to quote is unbelievably difficult. Then I have to be here to look after the builders - I am far too attentive, bringing them numerous cups of tea all day, but I feel it's necessary to keep them onside after all the trouble I have persuading them to do the work in the first place.
Anyway, I have edited the novel again recently and it's been read by a number of friends and acquaintances who have all given really helpful feedback. I've also asked the cover designer who created the cover for both my memoirs to work on the novel. She's very good, but very busy, and obviously although it's my priority to publish the book as soon as possible, it's not hers. Hopefully it won't be long now though. Exciting!
I've also made a good start on the next book, so I have been more productive than I give myself credit for. I'm going to write a series: they're mysteries, a la Agatha Christie. That's the plan, anyway. But of course, you never know what's around the corner. And so I've decided not to stress about it - I'll do my best to make the books happen, but looking after the family is my main and most important job, so for the next few years at least the writing will continue to play second fiddle. I'd love to make a proper career of it though...in September when our youngest starts secondary school I should have more time but I'm not counting of it.
Anyway, the reason I'm blogging now is, as usual, to order my thoughts. I'm going to publish the novel under my married name. The memoirs are written under my maiden name and I am considering re-publishing them. I would take the 'schizophrenia' out of the title and call the first memoir 'Joined-up Writing.' Because that's what I would be doing - joining up all my writing, bringing it under one umbrella, one name. I have also written other, shorter, fictional books, some of which have got surprisingly good reviews on Amazon and Goodreads and I'm thinking of editing those and doing the same with them. They're all written under different pen names! Partly because as an author it helps if you stick with one genre and I've flitted from self-help to chick lit to children's fiction (I had a brief foray into romance but it was not a success). And now mystery/psychological fiction. Hopefully I'll stick with this one for a while, although I have been hankering to try my hand at writing for young adults...
I might wait with the name change though. I like the idea of changing the title of the memoir - the schizophrenia word doesn't deserve to be aired - but it might be better to do it later down the line. When (if) my writing career is better established. At the moment, if you search 'schizophrenia' you have a chance of finding the memoir - and the reason it's out there is to help people who themselves have been held back and damaged by that hideous label. Anyway, it's not a straightforward process to change an author name when you publish on Amazon.
I can't concentrate any more, there's too much noise in the house right now. I have to see to the puppy and the children. Youngest has been off school the last couple of days. I can't put my finger on what's wrong with him - he hasn't got a temperature and yesterday was just sneezing occasionally and coughing a bit. Today though, he's got stomach ache and feels weak. He hasn't eaten anything since this morning and normally he's ravenous, so I am getting a bit worried. Hopefully he'll have a good sleep and be fine in the morning.
Right...I feel a bit clearer about the way ahead regarding my other books - do nothing for now. As for the new book I really hope that I can announce its publication soon. Au revoir, all.
I spend a fair amount of time these days looking after my mum, and when I'm not actually with her I'm thinking about her. She's pretty poorly. Then there are the dogs, who have been a handful recently. We have a new puppy (it's a long story and I'm not in the mood right now, but that brings the total number of canines in our family to three). And then of course, the children, who are growing up beautifully (Paul and I are very lucky indeed) but they do still need care and attention and when I am focused on my writing family life invariably gets out of balance. And there's the house - we moved last year and have had a lot of building work done and it's ongoing. I don't do any hands-on work - Paul doesn't trust me and I don't blame him. I try to do things too fast and mess them up. But I have done a lot of organising and it takes more time and creates more trouble than you would imagine. I have to get three quotes for every single thing we have done and getting people to quote is unbelievably difficult. Then I have to be here to look after the builders - I am far too attentive, bringing them numerous cups of tea all day, but I feel it's necessary to keep them onside after all the trouble I have persuading them to do the work in the first place.
Anyway, I have edited the novel again recently and it's been read by a number of friends and acquaintances who have all given really helpful feedback. I've also asked the cover designer who created the cover for both my memoirs to work on the novel. She's very good, but very busy, and obviously although it's my priority to publish the book as soon as possible, it's not hers. Hopefully it won't be long now though. Exciting!
I've also made a good start on the next book, so I have been more productive than I give myself credit for. I'm going to write a series: they're mysteries, a la Agatha Christie. That's the plan, anyway. But of course, you never know what's around the corner. And so I've decided not to stress about it - I'll do my best to make the books happen, but looking after the family is my main and most important job, so for the next few years at least the writing will continue to play second fiddle. I'd love to make a proper career of it though...in September when our youngest starts secondary school I should have more time but I'm not counting of it.
Anyway, the reason I'm blogging now is, as usual, to order my thoughts. I'm going to publish the novel under my married name. The memoirs are written under my maiden name and I am considering re-publishing them. I would take the 'schizophrenia' out of the title and call the first memoir 'Joined-up Writing.' Because that's what I would be doing - joining up all my writing, bringing it under one umbrella, one name. I have also written other, shorter, fictional books, some of which have got surprisingly good reviews on Amazon and Goodreads and I'm thinking of editing those and doing the same with them. They're all written under different pen names! Partly because as an author it helps if you stick with one genre and I've flitted from self-help to chick lit to children's fiction (I had a brief foray into romance but it was not a success). And now mystery/psychological fiction. Hopefully I'll stick with this one for a while, although I have been hankering to try my hand at writing for young adults...
I might wait with the name change though. I like the idea of changing the title of the memoir - the schizophrenia word doesn't deserve to be aired - but it might be better to do it later down the line. When (if) my writing career is better established. At the moment, if you search 'schizophrenia' you have a chance of finding the memoir - and the reason it's out there is to help people who themselves have been held back and damaged by that hideous label. Anyway, it's not a straightforward process to change an author name when you publish on Amazon.
I can't concentrate any more, there's too much noise in the house right now. I have to see to the puppy and the children. Youngest has been off school the last couple of days. I can't put my finger on what's wrong with him - he hasn't got a temperature and yesterday was just sneezing occasionally and coughing a bit. Today though, he's got stomach ache and feels weak. He hasn't eaten anything since this morning and normally he's ravenous, so I am getting a bit worried. Hopefully he'll have a good sleep and be fine in the morning.
Right...I feel a bit clearer about the way ahead regarding my other books - do nothing for now. As for the new book I really hope that I can announce its publication soon. Au revoir, all.
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