It's been raining for weeks now, or at least it feels that way. I don't mind much, although the dogs do. They hate going outside when it's raining, although they soon forget once they're out there - they enjoy their walks so much! Today I was lucky - I managed to walk them during a brief dry and sunny spell. Nice.
I have had a bit of a blow to my confidence recently. I have been working for the last few months, and I loved everything about it. I loved saying I was going to work - it made me feel so important. I loved contributing to the family finances. I loved the work itself - it was writing and editing, just the ticket for me.
Unfortunately, the whole thing fell apart a few days ago. I won't go into the why's, except that I was proud of the way I conducted myself. And there was nothing I could do. It's disappointing, and it made me feel sad, but I'll just have to chalk it up to experience.
I have enjoyed being back at home this week. I was only working three days a week, but it's surprising how much time it took, with the travelling to and fro. Jobs at home - like the endless piles of washing - were getting neglected. I had to pay someone to walk the dogs on the days I worked, which I was conflicted about - I like walking my dogs but I just didn't have time on those days. I was lucky there, my dog walkers have known the dogs since our family have had them and they love them as much as we do, but it still felt odd.
So it's been nice to be able to take care of everything and everyone properly again - the standard of family dinners had dropped, all sorts of things changed quite unexpectedly. I would rather still have my job if there was a choice, but there isn't. At least I have my home and family to keep me busy.
I have been careful to work every day though (except yesterday. Yesterday I had a few chores to do in the morning and then Paul was off work in the afternoon and I got distracted.)
I'm re-writing my novel (there were quite a few typos I hadn't dealt with and I decided to take the opportunity to give it a total rehaul). This will take a few weeks, then I'm going to tackle the next one. I'm going to treat writing as a job from now on and put my all into it. Stop casting around for other things to do with my time and just get on with what I'm good at.
I'm going to take the loss of my job as a sign that I'm meant to write.
Oh, and another thing. I'm going to put all my writing under one umbrella. I currently have my memoir (two memoirs, but the second one is not very good compared to the first) for sale under my maiden name, then a couple of short novellas under a pen name, a couple of short children's books under a different pen name - and finally, a novel under my married name. I'm going to make a website that lists all my work - because although I had good reasons for writing anonymously, they don't really apply anymore.
I'm going to be Out and Proud!
I'll link to my novel on here very soon - I just want to finish editing it first, so anyone who's interested gets the new, improved version.
Bye for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment