Twitter/Resilence/Responsibilty for self

 I've just dipped my toes into the Twitter water. I like Twitter, always have - at it's best, it means that you can have an intelligent conversation with people you've never met and are never likely to. 

At its worst though, Twitter means that you get vilified and shouted down for expressing the 'wrong' thoughts, as happened to JKRowling recently. I thought that was so unfair. That author is a great force for good in our world, she does a lot for charity...she should be allowed to say what she thinks, as we all should be, without having to justify and explain herself later. As a society, we should encourage civilised debate.

Anyway, I only had a quick look at Twitter just now, and said hi to a couple of people. I was trying to cook dinner for the family at the same time (it turned out surprisingly well considering how social media sucks you in). I typed 'mental health' into the search engine to see what it threw up, find out what was on people's minds...

And, from what I saw there, I got to thinking... It's great that so many people are more open about their mental health nowadays. I mean everybody suffers to some extent, at some time in their life, from some degree of emotional and/or physical malfunction. The two are usually intertwined. Those facts are immutable and it's astonishing that they have taken this long to be expressed and acknowledged.

But at what point should we be just getting on with life, even when it's difficult? Hang on, let's go back to the first thing I read on Twitter or this blog post won't make sense. The Twitter post said (I paraphrase) that if you wake up with a low mood you are just as entitled to a day off work as if you have a physical illness. 

Is this right? I mean, should you be off work with a headache? A cold? (Pre-Covid you'd almost certainly have gone to work with a cold, post-Covid definitely not). Sometimes I wake up with a headache (or in a low mood) and after an hour or so I feel better. Surely we should just try to shrug things off, some of the time at least? I mean, people with severe disabilities go to work, and are rightly admired for doing so. So should people with, say, anxiety, get a free pass?

I am perhaps not the best person to speak about this, because I used to shrug everything off, crippling anxiety included, and I ended up having several serious breakdowns. Also, I don't have a 'proper' job myself - I work very part-time out of the house (for just one hour each day) and then I write from home. There are probably days when I'd feel I couldn't cope if I had to head out to an office.

But nowadays I do like to think I'm more resilient - and I don't think I'd have developed that resilience if I hadn't pushed through some difficult life experiences. I'd like a day job, sometimes, just to prove that I am capable (although I know I shouldn't keep trying to prove that...to some invisible monitor who is actually just the inner me). 

Moving on. Another Twitter post was about obesity and the government stance on 'fat' people. The poster said (and again I paraphrase) that this was an example of fat shaming and would negatively affect people's body image. Is this true? Or do people need reminding sometimes that they should look after themselves better, guard their health, for their own wellbeing? The Prime Minister certainly had a wake-up call when he contracted the Covid-19 virus and I think he now genuinely wants to send this message. More controversially, perhaps, we as a nation need to safeguard the NHS - and obesity with its related diseases look as though it might become the single issue that sends the NHS finally crashing to the ground. If each of us takes personal responsibility for our weight (and other aspects of our health that are within our control) collectively we'll prove to be far less of a burden on the organisation that we all love and appreciate.

I know weight is difficult to control. I think a lot of the problem, for women in particular perhaps, is emotional eating - we use food to comfort ourselves. But we can lose weight if we try hard enough, and if we get the right advice and support it's possible to make huge changes very quickly. Personally, I favour the Blood Sugar Diet advocated by Professor Roy Taylor, and modified by Doctor Michael Mosley. 

I didn't reply to either of these posts on Twitter, because I didn't want to offend anyone. Things get pretty political on Twitter and often it's impossible to reconcile polarised views. But they did make me think - and wonder what other people's attitudes to this might be. Comments welcome as usual. Or maybe I should just head back to Twitter and have the courage to plough into the debate...

Advertising

Hi, all. Just wanted to write a quick post about advertising, since that's what I've been doing recently. I'm using Amazon Ads to publicise 'Surviving Schizophrenia' and it's been quite a learning curve. I'm enjoying the process though; I'm finding it immersive. It's good to have a project.

Shouting out about my work makes me feel a bit odd in some ways - but I have felt for a long time that my memoir could be more widely read and that if it was, it would help more people. I'm not just being vain - there are now more than 150 reviews of my book on Amazon, almost all of them five stars, and a lot of them saying how helpful it has been to them.

I think I'm right to be proud of what I've achieved. My second memoir, Surfacing, is not as well-written as the first and I've been thinking of revising it for some time - it's more of a self-help manual than a memoir in some ways. As time has passed I've thought a lot about what has helped, and what hasn't, in my journey to recovery and so I have some useful material to add to that book. I've been talking about doing this for a while though and still haven't got around to it!

When I look back over the the ten years since I published Surviving, what seems to be lacking is continuity. I have done various things - some work for mental health charities, some writing for a local magazine...I've written a novel and some children's books. Also various other short books. Oh, and I studied for a Masters degree in creative writing. I think there are probably some other things I have forgotten...

So, I do seem to flit around. I can't help wondering whether, if I'd devoted all my attention to writing about mental health over the past ten years, I would have been further forward in my career. 

But then, my career wasn't the thing I was striving towards. What I've wanted more than anything was to be a good parent, the best I could be, to raise a happy family, and that is where the bulk of my efforts have been directed. I've also spent quite a lot of time caring for my mother... 

So caring for others is the unifying thread, the continuity in my life - except that now I am not needed at all by my mother and not constantly by my children. So where do I go from here...? Whatever I choose to do I want to get it right, if at all possible. I haven't got time to keep meandering down different paths.

It has to be writing, that's for sure. I love caring - it's why I've made a reasonable parent, and I love my new part-time job looking after an elderly gentleman. He's so kind to me, so sweet...so grateful for everything that I do. It makes me feel that my efforts matter, that I'm making a difference to his quality of life, which is so rewarding.

But I need to write...it's what I'm here for, I'm convinced of it. Write what, though? I got enthused about writing children's books recently, but that seems to have worn off quite quickly. I tried writing thrillers - I self-published my novel Into Thin Air, written under my married name of Louise van Wingerden, but it met with more of a whimper than a bang (although this was before I began to learn about Amazon Ads, I also think it has the wrong cover for its genre...it's not a badly written book, I'm sure of that). I'm not sure that thrillers are my genre though. Maybe romance...although I am reading a romance novel at the moment and have become rather bored, which is not a good sign! Or maybe I should come back full circle and continue to write about mental health?

All comments gratefully received, although of course I might disregard them and carry on my merry way of trying this and that until I discover what is the best writing route for me. Seriously though, all comments really would be gratefully received.

Just Quickly...

 I'm waiting for dinner (cooked by my son with the help of his friend who's staying with us for the week). I've managed to keep the household rota going, despite the boys returning to school and the girls both going off to Uni. I still do the food shopping, cleaning and washing, or the majority of it, but we take turns tidying the kitchen, doing the dishwasher and cooking the evening meals.

This, and the fact that I have a new job caring for an elderly gentleman one hour a morning, has enabled me to get into a proper writing routine at home. For the last four weeks - this is the start of week five - I have written every day, Monday to Friday, and occasionally at the weekends too. The caring job helps because it provides me with a small income and also makes sure I get up early every morning, including the weekends. I find myself with more time suddenly - not loads of time, but enough to devote a portion of the day to writing. 

I've recently published a children's book, the third in a series. The series is called The Diary of Ellie Topp by Jenny Bell - you can google it if you're interested. I wrote the new book because I have some fans in India! Amazon is quite big over there now and when I found all the reviews and ratings on Amazon and Goodreads from my young readers, some of them asking for the next book in the series, I couldn't resist. I'm currently writing the fourth and last book in that series and planning a new series of children's books too! I think I have finally found my genre - I'm really enjoying writing for children.

I have some very sad news to share - my mother passed away on Easter Sunday. It's been a really difficult time and I couldn't have shared the news until now. She died of natural causes, it was peaceful...there's not much more to say except that I loved her so much and always will. She knew that, of course, which helps. 

So, love to all, and keep safe. (Personally I'm trying not to think about Covid - whilst taking all the necessary precautions. We all need to get through these days as best as we can - we will come out the other side and one day all this will seem like a distant memory.)