Wednesday, 2 May 2012

You Tube radio link

My beloved husband has spent the last few days figuring out how to link the recording of the radio interview I did the other day to this blog.  Eventually he went onto You Tune and uploaded it - he had to do this in two parts, because the file was too big.  So, here's the link if anyone is interested - it comprises two fifteen minute clips.  I was on the radio to talk about my book, but with the wider aim of opening up the subject of mental health and all that jazz...

I am obviously not a broadcaster, nor especially good at thinking on my feet and expressing myself coherently - there were a lot of things I wished later that I'd said, or said more clearly.  But still, for a first try I don't think it's a complete disgrace.  Let me know your views...I'm not fishing for compliments, though, honest!  Any tips for a better performance next time - if there is a next time - would be greatly appreciated.

And I will find some time to blog properly soon - at the weekend, if not before.  I have been distracted by a myriad of other things, but this blog and all it stands for remains very important to me, so I will definitely update it soon. 


  1. All very good and touching. I liked your sincerity and simplicity. You know: just telling how it was

  2. Really good interview. You didn't wobble at all and you made your points about the devastation inflicted by the diagnosis. I always am amused when British people claim they are inarticulate. We North Americans sound like we've got marbles in our mouths when we speak. We look to you Brits to show us how to "talk good." LOL. I did feel that the interviewer led too much by injecting too much of herself into the interview, thereby not giving you as much opportunity to express yourself. Still, the interview came across well, and I do hope people will buy your book. I also enjoyed your poem.

  3. Thank you both. I guess I always want to be better than I am - I have always envied people who can say what they mean clearly and unequivocably. I am a lot more confident than I used to be, but still need to work on expressing myself. The interviewer is called Helen Johns, by the way - she is really sweet and it was very kind of her to have me on the show. She was worried that the subject of the book was a bit heavy and depressing, because the radio station is Radio Hospital Bedside - it broadcasts to five hospitals - and she didn't want to upset the patients. So she was trying to make it all more cheery...

    What surprises me these days is how common mental health problems are - everyone I speak to at the moment has major issues, or has had, or knows someone who has.

    I have just been to the cinema to see 'A Dangerous Method' which was interesting.. I really liked your post about 'That's Crazy' Rossa - the film looks fascinating. I have not been looking at other blogs, or this one much recently, so I am really glad I happened to click on that.

    Good to hear from both of you. All the best, Louise

  4. Hi,

    Thanks for your kind words on my blog, things are a bit better at the moment, but I just needed somewhere to vent my feelings and my blog was very helpful in helping me vent!

    I listened to your radio talk and to my untrained ear you sounded very articulate, more than you give yourself credit for - if you heard me the first time I was on the radio it would give you a few laughs! Granted, I was about 14 at the time and only on to have a quick talk with the host before requesting a song but I still find listening to it quite funny!

    But yours was a lot more serious than mine and you did extremely well in talking about things that must have been difficult to talk about. I think I already knew most of the things you were saying from your book but it was still interesting to hear them again.

    I can really appreciate how addictive gambling can be from my own experiences - I had a thankfully brief addiction to gambling but in those few months, I gambled several hundred pounds and won maybe £200 back. I justified what I was doing by saying that the things I won I was giving to my family but it would have been a lot cheaper just to buy what I won! I can see though how it can become a problem and how many people can become bankrupt and owing obscene amounts of money to people with even more obscene amounts of money.

    My first breakdown came in my first year at University too but unlike you, I've never gone back and don't see myself ever completing my degree. Thankfully though, when I did go into hospital, I was able to walk in un-sedated (if that's a word) and had my family visiting every day (once they knew I was in). My parents were in Greece at the time of admission and I didn't tell my sister (my only sibling) that I was in hospital until the third day I was in. But after that day, I had visitors everyday which I am immensely glad about.

    I had been sent into hospital on a Section 2 because I had refused to go into hospital and at that moment in time I wasn't eating. The voice in my head was commanding me to not eat and I had been obeying for two weeks. It was a further four weeks before I started eating again and once they knew I was going to continue to eat they discharged me with no information as to what was wrong or how to help myself - just gave me the instructions to keep popping the pills they had prescribed. I didn't realise I was ill and it took a couple more years before I ever accepted that I'd had a problem so because of that I didn't realise I needed help either. Thankfully after my second discharge I was given loads of information about early warning signs and wrote my own personalised version of things to watch out for. But not knowing early warning signs and not believing I was ill made me end up in hospital again, ten months after being discharged. This time lasted over a year where I was given my horrible diagnosis and although I wasn't told to take meds for life, it was implied that I would have to.

    Like your host on the radio, the nurses and doctors didn't seem to understand my reluctance to take meds. They couldn't seem to get it into their heads that the meds had horrendous side effects and weren't a cure and in my case, they didn't even help. These meds were just forced into me (literally sometimes) despite my protests and evidence of them (the meds) being dangerous.

    Your book was uplifting (to use the host's words) and I am so glad you have the happy ending you always wanted. Your words about appreciating the good times rang true with me although I'm not quite at the place where I appreciate having had the bad times! The choice of song at the end was very fitting (I thought) - Doris Day, Whatever Will Be, Will Be. I've tried making that my life's motto and although it's not always successful, it does help me put things into perspective.

    Sorry this has been so long! Thank you for uploading the radio talk, I did find it very interesting!

    Katy x

  5. Hi Katy

    Lovely to hear from you again. I am sure you will be fine in time - you are doing better than you realise already (like you said about my radio debut!). Your self-awareness will stand you in good stead. Maybe when you feel better you will find something you really want to do that will keep you busy - there is a lot to be said for not having time to think. Or to over-think.

    'Que sera sera' is one of the songs I sing to my boys at bedtime (the girls are well past being sung to). I was surprised and pleased when Helen chose to play it to end the show - the boys were at home with Paul listening to the radio and I thought that would really tickle them. When I got home though, Paul said they had only listened to the show for a couple of minutes and then gone off to watch the TV (fair enough!)

    Both boys love that song - they call it the 'Little Girl Song'. Toddler - who is four now - has quite a way with words and he customises the song - instead of 'Will I be famous, will I be rich?' he sings, 'Will I be pretty, will I be silly?' and other variations on the theme, which always gets me hooting.

    Anyway, take care
    Louise x

  6. Oh, and about the other things you mentioned... I am very disappointed that the gambling laws in this country have been so far relaxed - gambling ruins lives, and it is very irresponsible of the government not to recognise this fact and protect people from its excesses.

    And the way that mental hospitals are run in this country is another disgrace - the system as it stands perpetutates constant abuses of human rights (notwithstanding the fact that there are well-meaning individuals working within that system). Thank you for sharing your story. The more of us who stand up and speak out about what we have experienced, the better (speaking anonymously is fine, and perhaps more sensible than the course I have taken).

    Enough said.