Friday, 18 February 2011

Schizophrenia and Mood


Just a quick post - have to go and collect Toddler from play school in a mo. He has really been enjoying it there, he comes out very happy and chatty at the end of the morning. Perfect.

Hubby has been away for work this week, so I have been struggling a bit. The kids have several evening activities, and at this time of year it is quite hard to take them to and fro. I have been crashing out at ten every night.

Worse than the tiredness, though, is the moodiness. I seem to be swinging a bit - most of the time I do ok in my quest to be the Perfect Mother at least while Daddy is away, but then suddenly I get snappy and feel awful about it afterwards.

I would be better trying not to be Perfect Mother, and just be Good Enough Mother (which is all any of us can really hope for anyway). I know the theory, and want to put it into practice - so I am constantly trying to assess my mood and level it out.

I have seen a good tool to help with this on the Net - a mood-mapping chart designed for people with bi-polar, which really helps to stabilise mood by charting how much lack of sleep or unhealthy food or so on is part of the picture. I must look it up again and give it another go. I think this afternoon would be a good time, while Toddler is in his post-play-school TV watching phase.

Trouble is, I don't know how much of my moodiness is normal, or how much a symptom of bad mental health. I so often wish I had never been diagnosed with schizophrenia (or never been informed of the diagnosis) - it does just seem to complicate issues at times - instead of just dealing with things, I worry about them too.

Got to go now. X.

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