Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Whatever Normal Is

Hi again

I fear this is going to be one of those wittering posts - I sat down with no clear idea of what I was going to write, only a sense that a post is due because it has been a few days since I wrote one.  You have been warned..

Back to normal today - in that this is one of my three days a week when I have several hours of 'free' time, and this week I have no lectures or mental health functions to attend.  Toddler was a bit poorly at the weekend so had a day off play school yesterday.  But it is a measure of how much he likes the new play school that he volunteered to go back today.  He is better, although still coughing a bit at night, but I would have let him stay home if he had wanted.

Maybe it is also a measure of how boring he now sees my days at home - I cleaned and tidied the house for hours and hours yesterday, we walked the dog and that was all.  Maybe he just doesn't want to be a part of that, when he can be lego-ing and play dough-ing and painting to his hearts content, surrounded by his loyal friends and acolytes.  Yes, that's probably it. 

I am just glad he is happy.  He is much easier these days - now that he has settled into the new play school and everything at home has settled into the new term's routine, he is reassured and so doesn't feel the constant need to follow me around and assert himself in all matters to make sure he has my full attention at all times.  Phew!  He really is a delight of a child, whether he is being difficult or not, but I so perfer it when he is not.

Anyway, here I am back to 'normal', and I realise that I am not sure what 'normal' is.  What shall I do with my fours hours of freedom?  I could carry on tidying - I got an immense amount of satisfaction yesterday from the rooms I organised and there is still plenty more to do.  But maybe while one day of manic tidying is satisfying, two might tip the balance and make me feel oppressed.  I could write - always rewarding.  I have to walk the dog of course, which will be a pleasure on this bright sunny morning. 

Have to hang out the washing too - I feel so guilty when I bung it all into the tumble drier to save time.  The conservatory is likely to be very hot this afternoon, and it won't take long to shove it all out there on airers.  Then I put it into the tumble drier while it is still damp, so that it doesn't need ironing.  Cunning, eh?

I should make myself concentrate enough to fill out the Time to Change job application - no rush for that, but probably better to do it before the half term holiday when there will be other claims on my time.  The more I think about this job the more I think it will be perfect for me - only two days a month and working from home, so I can still be here for the kids.  And in the mental health field, which is probably the thing I have the most experience of and feel the most passionately about (apart from childcare, which I wouldn't consider as a career.  My own kids are enough for me to look after.)  But will they want me?  Watch this space...

Anyway, what I am not going to do is spend so long worrying about what to do today that I get nothing done.  It has happened before.  So I am going to hang out the washing, take my little dog for a lovely long walk at the beach and then FOCUS.

Have a good day, you all.

Louise xx  

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