Tuesday 4 October 2011

The Power of Lists

Hi Everyone

I am learning from my children, more and more, these days.  It is quite incredible, actually, that I have created such astounding little people: so calm, so knowledgeable, so sweet.  Incredible.

Anyway, Little Daughter has taken to writing herself a To Do list before she goes to bed each night.  And I have decided to follow her example.  Obviously, I have made lists before, but I intend to do it on a regular basis, and intead of writing huge tasks, like 'Tidy House' I am going to break it down into small, and more pleasant, chunks.  For example, 'Practise Piano', 'Walk Dog' and 'Write Blog Post'.  Ergo, here I am!  (Next up, 'Hoover').

But what to say, now that I am here?  I am having a good day.  I look reasonable, because the hairdresser came yesterday.  And my feet are (dare I say it?) flourishing. 

Interestingly, I just read an article in The Times about how 'Fitness Footwear' is not all it is cracked up to be.  And buried in the small print was a little nugget of information about how these 'rocking shoes' are used occasionally to help in the case of mid-foot injuries where the foot won't bend.  'Aha!' I thought.  'Could this be the reason why I took a (metaphorical) step backwards recently?  Were my rocking shoes to blame?' 

Because I did have a pair, which I wore most of the time, and I have changed shoes since the last infection, and (touch wood again) I seem to be healing again now.  Maybe the old shoes were weakening the feet, putting pressure on exactly the wrong spot (although they did feel comfortable). 

Anyway, I have been off the antibiotics for several days now.  The scars on both feet are healed over.  So I am hopeful that over the next few weeks I will grow stronger and can put all the foot stuff behind me (although I am aware that I have said, and written, that before).

I really want to go swimming again.  In fact, I could probably fit it in this afternoon.  But I daren't, not just yet.  I can't risk another infection.  I just want to move on now.

I am finally beginning to feel a little more light-hearted.  It's nice actually, not to have to hide my fears any more.  My daughters were taking the mickey a couple of days ago, talking about me going to hospital.  And I said, 'I wouldn't mind at all going to hospital now.  You would all have to find someone else to clean and cool and do your washing while I am gone though.  And I'm not coming back until the house is clean and tidy!'  They rolled around laughing.

Well, that is half the battle won, isn't it?  If I have no fear of going to hospital, I realised, I am far less likely to get into the state which would mean I am going to be carted off there.  I am what I am these days, and I am really trying hard to not care so much about the past. 

I have finished my latest writing project (quite a success, if I say so myself).  It was a short book, for Kindle again.  I have published under yet another pseudonym, for reasons that are clear to me but hard to explain (mostly to do with protecting the privacy of my children).

And now I am free to embark on another project.  I think that for now though I will try to concentrate on the subject of mental health, both on this blog and further afield.  I was considering editing my book again and then putting it out in paperback, but I don't have the resources just now, in more ways than one.  And anyway, it says what I want it to say, that there is hope out there.  It is worth a read.  So I will just keep promoting it.  

Anyone who has not yet read 'Schizophrenia at the Schoolgate:  A Tale of Sound and Fury' by Louise Gillett, do go ahead and buy a copy from Amazon Kindle.  It's all about how I had three nervous breakdowns, and maybe a bit about why I did, and then some more about how life is actually pretty good now, if only I can keep on ignoring the fact that the word 'Schizophrenic' is writ large in my medical records.

Because I am really no madder than the average person, and nor, Dear Reader, are you.

More anon.

Louise x

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