Thursday, 28 April 2011

Another Bank Holiday weekend

Hi Guys

Sorry it has been a while since my last post. The kids were on holiday from school for what seemed like ages, and although they have been back for a couple of days this week, there are more holidays due, as you know. I do like having the kids around, but it means that there is no time to blog, or to write at all really. Also, I don't have a great deal to write about...

Have written a couple of posts on the NHS blog, but am not sure about where I am going with that. I can write here in my own little bubble - but over there I am in the middle of other people with concerns about their own mental health - it is quite a different environment. A lot of my strategy to survive over the years has been to keep busy, keep on 'acting normal' until eventually I started thinking normally. Or at least functionally, which is good enough for me. When I am faced with other people who are floridly ill it makes me a bit wobbly - not a pleasant admission, I know, but if I can't be honest here, then where can I?

I am sure loads of people do get better from serious mental illness, but then have the same kind of attitude that I have had in the past - to pretend it never happened and to associate only with other poeple who are well. Which is where I am going with the memoir - intending to be up front about it all. But I don't want to dwell on mental health too much in my daily life - I am sure that is not good for me. I have so much to do on a daily basis I need to keep up my momentum.

Anyway. I am sure I will get a clearer idea of where the blogs and the writing are leading me, in the fullness of time. Even if they enable me to bring up the kids in a safe and stable environment that is value enough. I dread to think of the effect it would have on my children if I ever became unwell - mercifully the last time I was ill was when my eldest was newborn, so they really have very little idea.

Enough for now. I fear this may be a rather morbid and uninteresting entry. Apologies. X.

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