Saturday, 2 July 2011


Hi Everybody

Because it's the weekend and I have decided not to think too deeply, and to generally lighten things up after yesterday's heavy subject - I thought I would post a poem today.  This one is for the ladies.  I wrote it ten or so years ago. 

It's called


I am a lady of a certain weight
Who once wished that she weighed a little less
I was so fascinated with the change
Between my morning and my evening weight
Before or after food
Dressed, or undressed

I have a girlfriend of a certain weight
Who used to claim that she weighed less than me
I must admit, I viewed her claim
Rather suspiciously

I quizzed her long and hard for one whole month
And finally uncovered her deceit
She says she weighs herself and then discounts her head
Deducting one whole stone because, she says
It is all made of bone, and has no meat

Though shocked at first, it was quite soon I saw
That this was clearly an ingenious scheme
So I decided to adopt
And then embellish on
Her theme

And now I weigh a fraction of before
Without suffering, dieting or pain
I weigh myself each day most carefully
And then deduct my hands, my feet, my skin, my bones, my head, my hair
And, of course, my brain.

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