Benefits, Madness and Laughter (not necessarily in that order)

Hi everyone

I was thinking today, I have a bit of a death wish about being on benefits - the more I keep shouting about not wanting to be on them any more, the more chance someone is going to take them away.  And they do provide a buffer against stress...but let's not go through all that again.  I feel that change is on its way, and that it will be a Good Thing when it happens.

My girls (who keep their eyes and ears open so wide you would think they are in training for MI5) have cottoned on to the benefits thing.  The older one was upset that I am on benefits - she said she hadn't realised we were so poor.  The younger one is using it as a stick with which to poke me.  We were messing around this evening, being silly, and she said, 'I wouldn't give up benefits if I was you.  Because you are MAD!'  Then she kept poking.  'In fact' she said, 'I think they should double them.  Because you are SO MAD!'  She was delighted with herself because I was laughing so much at her cheek, and I was just astounded, wondering where on earth it all comes from.  She is nine years old!  How did she get such an understanding of what makes people tick and of how the world works? 

But it is good that I can laugh, and that I can be more open with my daughters.  I have reassured my elder one that we are not in poverty, and not about to descend into it.  When I finally stopped laughing, I told the little one she should have more respect, and more belief in her Mama - I am going to make it good in life, even though I may be taking the long route round.  But a few short years ago I could not even have said the word 'Mad' out loud - now I can laugh at someone taking the mickey out of me for it.  The shame has gone, and with it the fear, and it is only a matter of time before all the anxiety and other nonsense follows the rest of the unecessary emotions out of the door.

More soon

Louise x