Thursday, 18 August 2011

So Fed Up!

Hi Everyone

It has been a couple of days, so I thought I should write a post to keep this blog up to date.  But I haven't been anywhere or done anything, so I don't have a great deal to say.  Sorry.

I am about half way through my first Human Givens book (I referred to this a few posts ago).  So far it seems to be talking a lot of common sense.  When I have finished it I will write a review.

I have been going a bit stir crazy.  I came to the conclusion that I might have been doing too much and so contributed to my foot problems, so I am determined now to rest as much as possible.  Trouble is that this is boring for the kids - although it has been pouring all day so we wouldn't have been doing much anyway.  Their cousins came to play this morning, and this evening their Daddy took them out for an hour, and they actually seem to be quite happy. 

I am bored though.  And I am restless.  I know that I usually rush around too much, and that partly this is because I have an excess of nervous energy.  Six weeks ago the house would look great if I had to spend a day at home - I would tidy up at least three rooms really thoroughly in a few hours.  Now I can't even tidy and clean - adding to my general demoralisation.

I am exaggerating.  I tidied up my bedroom yesterday, and the day before I tidied the porch.  And today I tidied the bathroom - it didn't take long, I just chucked away a load of old shower gels and old toiletries that had been hanging around for ages and never got used.  It made it look a lot tidier very quickly.  But I wish I could do more.

I think I had become quite smug about the state of my mental health.  Now I am faced with a real challenge - staying positive and motivated in difficult circumstances.  And what makes it really hard is that I want to be doing more, not just for me, but for the kids too.  This is their summer holiday after all.  I like to lay down memories in the summer, to hold on to during the long term time, so that they look forward to the next holidays.  And also there is stuff they need to go back to school with in a couple of weeks - I have a real reason to go shoping - and I can't get to the shops!  (Although I might ask Paul to take us at the weekend, if the antibiotics have worked by then).

My foot is oozing at the moment.  I have been tempted to post a picture on here, but don't want to gross anybody out, so I have refrained.

I am actually not as miserable as I sound.  Deep down I am sure that the antibiotics will kick in soon.  And that the bone will heal.  I will keep you posted - but only as an aside - I promise I will try to think of something more interesting to write about next time. 

Louise x

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