Friday, 11 March 2011

Schizophrenia and Exercise

Hi again

A short homily on exercise. As we all know, it is good for us. Essential in fact. A Paul McKenna book I am reading at the moment, 'I Can Make You Happy' (the flattering front cover photo of the author gazing seductively out makes this promise seem a bit personal) says that twenty minutes a day is enough to significantly raise happiness levels.

However, I have mentioned here before that I find exercise is best when taken in a solitary manner, or at least with people that you know so well that you don't need to make an effort to communicate with them. Today, instead of tramping along the beach with my dog in my usual unfriendly-seeming way I made an effort to engage with others - maybe because the sun was out and I felt oddly jolly. But, although all those people I encountered were extremely pleasant, by the end of my walk I felt drained instead of energised.

It is time I accepted that I am not as other people - that although it looks very nice to be chatting away to everybody you meet, it doesn't do for me. Which doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with me. I just don't find it relaxing. Next week I will go back to smiling and nodding, maybe a 'hello' or two, and that's it. Also, next week I am hoping to get back into a writing routine, which may mean walking the dog for less time, or later in the day.

The memoir stalled just before half term and has stayed stalled. I have been blogging a bit of course, and emailing and journaling - all the things I enjoy doing but which don't qualify as 'proper' writing, at least not in my head.

The time off writing, or 'head space' as I think of it, has done me good - the house got nice and tidy for a few days (although it has deteriorated quite quickly and now looks worse than ever) and the ideas have started to flow again. I feel that I can go back to my memoir now with a fresh outlook, which it badly needed. I am also trying to get my head around the idea of looking for an agent. I am writing a book which I believe in, and I am starting to think that I should be proud of my experiences instead of always trying to cover up who I am and where I have come from. To this end, three people apart from hubby now know of the existence of this blog, and slowly slowly I may start to tell more. And if I do get an agent, who in turn gets a publisher on board, then I may well decide to publish and be damned...

Enough for now. x.

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